I feel so useless and worthless. Everyone I know, all of my friends and even siblings, are doing something with my life. They have jobs, college and most of them are juggling both at the same time. I'm just sitting at home leeching money off of my grandmother and wallowing in my misery. Everyone is telling me to take it slow because I shouldn't rush into something I'm not ready for, but I don't know how to tell if I'm ready or not. I want to do something with my life, and I could have a chance if I work with my sister at her grocery store. But I'm also scared that I'm gonna have a meltdown and quit after a week again. This stress has been eating away at me for so long and I don't know what to do. Should I go for the job, or should I reapply for disability benefits? This is more of a rhetorical question since I doubt anyone is gonna care, but any input or advice would be highly appreciated
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
Complex post traumatic stress disorder
Anxiety (Including GAD)
I think you can apply for disability and try the job both if you want. You could also try something that you could freelance in. It won't make a whole lot, at least at first, but it's another option.
Thank you for the advice 🙏 I don't have many interests I could use to freelance with but I'll keep it in mind 💜
If you’re wealthy yeah you could do things for fun, but if you have a family to take care of good luck cover of that problem of yours and push through. That’s what we all Gotta do here. And I’m not trying to be rude, I’m just saying that genuinely people have their own things to worry about so you have to learn how to take care of you it wasn’t meant to be rude sorry
They're not demanding help from us, they're asking advice from whoever is willing. And some people NEED to rely on others for survival. It's nothing to look down on someone for. It's sad that they would ever even think of it as "leeching" off their grandmother. Don't spread the idea that it's shameful to have health problems that require that support as it's no one's fault that some conditions can't be helped yet. Everyone becomes disabled someday or dies before they can. 25% of adults are right. now. Take care of your rudeness problem bc I can't help you with that.
I care! I also understand all too well. I have some thoughts:
1. You can work limited hours while on disability. That's the safest option and would help you keep your hours down. Even if it isn't much money, it will help you feel more in tune with everyone else to have a workplace to go to, coworkers to meet, strangers to help, and something to do with more satisfaction and "purpose." (You have plenty of purpose and usefulness already c: )
2. If you don't know if you're ready, you might not be. Or what's offered right now isn't a good fit for you. You may be ready to work on tasks more consistently as you'd need to for work, but standard hours and standard environment might not be right for you. Or feeling you've improved with task consistency may just mean you've done a great job at improving your quality of life! Sometimes as soon as we see improvement, we want even more and add on things too quickly. If those things don't seem it applies to you and are still not sure, I'd try it out! You can quit at any time. Set up accommodations and have a game plan. Go in with the right mindset, so in case it ends up not being a good fit, you're not so triggered or creating trauma (trauma is not your fault, but lessening triggers can make it better).
3. Your lifestyle right now IS normal. It's normal for millions like you. It's not common or understood well, but it's nothing to feel ashamed of. People who think it's not normal don't live in reality. You're not as "different" as you might think. You have things you're good at. You have things you teach others. You have value. Do whatever you want about this job opportunity! It's for YOU, not for others! <3 After all the shit you've gone through, you deserve to decide what's best and do literally whatever you want to make you truly happy. Xoxo
Thank you so much for the kind words and advice, it really means a lot 💕 I'll definitely ask for accommodations whenever I start working again. I really appreciate you taking the time to be so kind and helpful 🥺💜
I imagine since it’s your sisters store, you might have more control over how much you work. So maybe start with one shift for one day a week. Then if you feel good about it, increase it to two days a week and so on & so forth. If you’re starting to feel it wear you down, cut back how much you work. You could still apply for disability benefits at the same time. Before you do this though, I suggest you start seeing a therapist and/or a psychologist to both help you work on yourself and also be able to have someone as a reference for your struggles.
Thank you for the advice! I actually do have a therapist and a psychiatrist working with me. But I have a long recovery journey ahead of me. I did end up filing my appeal with disability so fingers crossed that goes well 🤞
I would try with smaller steps before starting a job altogether, but definitely aim to get to that goal. I am on my recovery road as well and I am currently listening to The Anxious Truth podcast that dives deep into agoraphobia. I’m hoping to build up courage soon enough to get started. I would be happy to start taking baby steps with you. I know all to good how it feels to be so alone yet so dependent of everyone around you.
Hey, thanks for the advice ❤️ I agree, I should take it slow before I jump into a new job, it's just hard fighting the negative thoughts and feelings. Thank you also for telling me about the podcast, I will look them up tomorrow and check it out! Much appreciated 😊
Adding onto what everyone else said, if there's a freelance job you want to work or a stay-at-home job available you can consider that
I don't know where to start with that, but I'll look into it and give it a shot! Thank you for the advice 🙏
I understand this feeling too well. I live with my fiancee and have lost or quit 4 jobs since 2019. 😥 but I know through many others physical or mental disability wise that having a positive demeanor to those who are helping means A LOT. it seems like nothing but it can help your situation and theirs.
I'm sorry to hear that you've been having trouble holding down a job too. Things will get better for the both of us! We just gotta keep pushing forward 💕
I relate. I'm married and was ok for years but in 2016 everything changed due to my bipolar disorder. If it weren't for my husband working I would be homeless. I did work at a horse farm for awhile. They gave me whatever time I wanted and there weren't a lot of people so it wasn't too stressful. I had to quit because of a surgery so now I'm unemployed and feeding scared to get a job for the same reasons nekoteto said. I'm scared I'll freak out and embarrass myself and then quit. It's happened before.
I take meds and therapy very seriously but it's still a struggle. Just keep on trying until you find what's right for you. I started making crafty stuff for therapy I I'm pretty good now so I'm selling some of it. Money isn't much but at least I'm accomplishing something and that's the most important thing. I agree with miwana when she said baby steps. And be prepared to go backwards sometimes. It's all part of the illness but you just rest and then get back up when you feel you can. You're doing good just talking about it. You got this.
I'm glad you've been able to find a path that works for you! I'll look into freelancing as others have pointed out. Thank you for the words of encouragement, they mean a lot 💜
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