Need advice on dealing with toxic behavior from husband

I would say honesty is your best policy in that situation. However, I would take special care in the way you word things to him so that it doesn't sound like you're pinning the blame on him (not that I think you would, but it can be a common oversight.) Perhaps bring up what you mention in your post that it's great he's learning to look out for himself, but perhaps a balance is needed. Another great communication tool can be to just be vulnerable with him. If you're feeling abandoned and left in the dust then let him know that you're feeling that way and miss him. Possibly writing down a rough draft of what you want to say just to be able to read it out loud to yourself could be good just to check for anything that he may get hung up on. I'll usually only do this for people who are easily offended or are looking for fights, but it can be a great tool just for practicing good/clear communication too. Honesty and keeping anger out of the equation will probably be the two best things to keep in mind going into a conversation like that. However ultimately, trust your gut: because I don't know you or your husband and can only give you loose advice on it based on my own experiences. I wish you luck with it ❤️