How to Cope with Anxiety When Your Partner Needs Space

And I do have advice on how to handle anxiety in a situation like this, but other than making sure that you're coping with that to the best of your ability, it might be a good idea to use this time as a chance to consider the issues of the relationship, whether it is stuff that is between the both of you or things that you each individually struggle with that negatively impact each other and how you might be able to change those things.

I always like to just lay down listen to something calming and rationalize. Also like others said cleaning, painting, going for walks, watching comedy tv shows, doing extra work, learning about something you've always wanted to or watching documentaries helps, also just going places where there's music or a hustle and bustle always help me

Ugh the anxiety is real. when I separated from him (have broken up w him many times) I got a heart condition cause I wasn’t drinking enough water (luckily nothing serious) and was just pacing back and forth trying to assess our relationship and sending messages. I was hurting. Then I realized as much as he hurt me, it wasn’t as bad as what my own mother had done to me or was capable of. So I just left my unstable mothers house for a lil more stable life at my bfs house. He’s cool but when it comes to working on our relationship, he’s lacking. He knows I need help and sometimes even tells me the ways in which he’ll try to help me, then forgets/gets defensive when I remind him.. we also have a history of texting/flirting with other people behind each other’s back before we reached a point where we were both officially committed. The problem is that when I doubted his loyalty after that he called me “deluded” and then I saw text messages with bunch of girls.. so it was a lie. I felt betrayed and played with. Luckily he took the blame and didn’t blame me. He did try to get some pity out of me tho when I got mad at him and 🤢 i didnt like that. So all of this to say, I just gotta do a lot of forgiving in order to not wake up next to him and resent him.. He doesn’t ever do anything (or maybe once in a blue moon) for me unless I ask him to.. but he’s the only one I got in my life that kinda tries and when he doesn’t , at least he’s there to share a laugh with. So at least I have that 🤷‍♀️ and I know I need that considering I don’t have many friends. I don’t like that hyper individualistic “leave him” advice strangers are quick to give us. I know where my attachment comes from. Don’t be quick to dismiss your attachment to him as “anxiety” or “trauma bond” and dig deeper. Maybe you need him in the future? Maybe he’s not as bad as your parents? Maybe you got unresolved trauma from your friends/family and he’s triggering it ? If not then do consider that it might just be a trauma bond and PLEASE get some independence while you can.. especially if you live with your parents and they’re not just bad, don’t choose him over yourself. Remind yourself that. You’re worth way more don’t let him guilt trip you into thinking that you’re not enough. Read into feminism patriarchy misogyny etc , watch some tik toks on it if you wanna keep that resentment going so that you remain detached but in reality. You’ll get over him with the proper self-care I believe that , just make sure you don’t need him * first *❤️

Keep yourself busy. Clean, read, listen to music, shower, self-care, just keep your mind in a positive place as much as you can. Also, I apologize but he sounds very toxic.. if I were you I would leave.. I've had an ex like him before and trust me it's not good.

Honestly, it might be q good idea to send him one message, only one, and tell him your worry and your feeling. Don't ask or expect a message back, but its still getting to him how you are feeling and it may influence what's going on. Still try to be understanding over his feelings though, as they are still very much valid. As someone with BPD overwhelming emotions is a full time job. Good communication is always a proper key to relationships. I do think that he was in the wrong for him to ask for absolutely no communication, especially if he knows you have a history of major anxiety, but that still means he needs to do whats good for him. Its nothing against you but sometimes it's really nice to get away by yourself. Enjoying that time is a good thing. It doesn't mean he loves you any less. Having anxiety I can understand where you see this as super sus but thats where trust falls in. If he has given no signs of doing anything sus since you've been with him you should definitely give him a bit more trust. Keeping an eye on what he is doing through social media isn't showing much trust (i do understand why you do it though). If you send that one message it may be good to ask him for a phone call after maybe day 5? Just to touch base with each other and you can see how he is emotionally and if he is still overwhelmed and portray your worried better than in a text. I recently asked my boyfriend if maybe we can take a bit of separation for q week. Anything over a week I think is a bit much. Something you can do in the mean time is maybe clean your home, when he gets back he might appreciate that. Maybe do a project or make him something for when he gets back. I know he said no communication but you could always send him one compliment a day so he knows your thinking of him and supporting him.