Living with PTSD and Aging: My Story

Hi...I'm Linda West I'm almost 74 & disabled. Have PTSD from SM from grandfather before I was 4...it changes who you are completely. As child I had asthma, speech problem, was very shy & scared. Tried to please e everyone always. Family has totally abandoned me & I finally let it happen. I'll love them til I die but they have the right to not be involved with me. Therapy changes you & I began seeing Therapist at about 20 years old. My thinking is so different from them. My Faith & belief in GOD is firmly in my life. I believe a lot of my disorders happen because of our past. A favorite Therapist said as long as we didn't heal from the past traumas we would continue to be sick physically. I'm talking with a Therapist again & my new words for 2022 are RESPECT & BOUNDARIES! Seeing pain & neurologist for some out of the box new treatments! Keeping some kind of music on 12-18 hours a day. play lots of games on cell phone....alone types of games...Solitaire, Free Cell, Bible Words, See the Difference, Mahjong...trying to keep brain engaged! Trying to dehoard my home & get some repairs done so I can stay here. Have a house guest last two weeks...friend of last 7 years who has become homeless. It's good in some ways & not in others. I'm really a Hermit & having someone here helps me be less able to isolate! That's probably a good thing. Planning to force myself to do some exercise to make legs & arms stronger & maybe to walk a little bit. I hate physical activities...lol My brain still thinks young...it's always a shock to see me in a mirror...AGING is not for the weak or for Sissies But GOD has a reason for us to be here & I believe mine, at this time, is to share my story to help others. I really miss conversation the most! PS I was so fortunate to have had an amazing wonderful husband. He was the first friend I ever had...the first person to have my back, to care about me! He died February 14, 1996 & I've missed him every day since Looking forward to Friendship & meeting people!