Struggling with Depression and Intrusive Thoughts

Good Evening. My depression and everything is completely new to me. I’ve had anxiety (hypochondriac) when it came to my Heath and fear of dying. I had an upper respiratory infection and was prescribed steroids and since then I have not been the same. While I was on the steroids I didn’t sleep and was started experiencing horrible intrusive thoughts, anxiety and panic attacks. It’s been two week since I finished the steroids and I am now suffering with depression (that’s been labeled moderate to severe). I tried Zoloft and have been on it for a week and I hate the way I feel on it. It made me feel numb, anxious and gave me more suicidal thoughts. My therapist gave me the ok to stop it since I’ve just been on it a week and I am using klonopin 2x a day right now to help me get through this. Everyone keeps telling me my body just needs time to reset from the steroids but these intrusive thoughts are killing me inside. I also don’t know if at some points I’m experiencing rage or anxiety. It’s honestly scaring the hell out of me. Two weeks ago I was a normal person loving life with my little family and now I feel like I’m this horrible, depressed person that can barely function. Please let me know how you have gotten through a horrible depressive phase and if you were able to get over horrible intrusive thoughts. I have been seeing a therapist but am meeting with one tomorrow that specializes in CBT therapy.