Concerned about my drinking habits

Definitely sounds like its turning into alcoholism as its entirely not normal to not feel a thing at that level (given guys are usually different). I am 22 myself and I can understand it, no matter what made you turn to it I get it. I slowly got worse and worse with alcohol as I got older. At 16 I went to two parties that introduced me to alcohol and at the time it was just for fun and it stayed that way till I was with my ex. I then started abusing it as a way to numb my depression, I would get so drunk I wouldn’t know what was happening and start hysterically crying. After we broke up I stopped and got really healthy until I got with my current fiancé. We were an hour apart, I had a series of really depressing and stressful events and fell back into depression. When we moved in together I started abusing it again, while he was at work I would drink till I was drunk and was drinking some form of alcohol every day and gained so much weight. I dont remember an exact moment but it probably had to be the time we started falling apart where I took a look at myself and realized the damage I had done and needed to change. My first piece of advice would be to get rid of any and all alcohol so you dont even have the temptation dont even be around people who drink. If you need something that tastes like alcohol even if it tastes somewhat shitty get the 0% alcohol because it tastes identical to me just to make yourself feel like you’re still drinking. Next do some self reflection, figure out where this started and why you started it, notice how its changing your body and your mental health. Ask yourself what good this is doing and how you think its helping you. Next research and come up with coping mechanisms if its caused by a trigger like stress to replace the drinking with. I would highly suggest something creative or very distracting and what I mean by that is something that makes you use your brain and think and concentrate. I wont sugar coat it, irs really hard. I’ve stopped drinking all together due to some health issues, but even before I stopped and even now when im extremely stressed and depressed that im manic the first thing I want to do is drink. Alcohol really has a hold on you and many people and its really easy to give it the power, but you have to realize it doesnt and you do. Change starts with you and you are more than capable and its more than possible to turn it around before its too late. I truly believe in you, you got this!

21 YO F HERE. My friends tend to notice I'm drunk before I am, so if I drink alone I don't really feel the effects as much- I know it's different to see a weight of 125, but that is a very low weight (depending on your hieght). As you gain tolerance, you also make your liver work overtime. And it can only work overtime for so long before starting to fail. What I did to stop binge drinking as much as I used to was I would hold my whiskey (my drink of choice)in my mouth for a really long time before swallowing. I'd feel like I had more than I did and then crave it less. It used to take me 6 shots just to feel a buzz; now it takes 350 mL of hard liquor to get me drunker than I want to be. Also please don't drive after having that much alcohol. Any more than 2 drinks, you've gotta be real careful.

That actually makes a lot of sense, looking at your age, that one glass previously had you spinning. You’re at the age where tolerance is increasing since you’re brain is more developed most likely. I would say definitely scary to blow that high and not feel drunk. My ex was similar to where he could drink a lot but didn’t feel drunk and it made both of us really nervous since he couldn’t tell how functional he really was while drinking. A few years ago I had a binge drinking problem… which I didn’t realize until a counselor told me that what I was doing. I used to drink 1-2 bottles of wine a night but not every night. My family were big wine drinkers so it didn’t seem that abnormal. Now one glass of wine kind of throws me for a loop. My boyfriend at the time took me to a rehab facility and it was rough in the waiting room, one guy passed out and stopped breathing and no one realized it until an hour later and EMS was called and a few others looked horrible and running outside to throw up. My boyfriend did not leave me there to be admitted and seeing that scared the shit out of me. At the time, I had left my job and was in an abusive relationship which I didn’t identify at the time and felt so alone. So I’d sit on the porch for hours at night and drink and journal. At the time it didn’t feel like a problem since at least it was helping me feel connected to myself and releasing a lot of feelings since I didn’t feel like I could talk to my boyfriend. Shortly after all of that I left and went to a treatment facility for my eating disorder since that’s what I was trying to get help with and the counselor pointed me to substance abuse rehab since it was easier to get help that way. It allowed me to get space from the situation I felt like I was drowning in and actually process out my internal world so after I wasn’t using behaviors to cope. Now I can drink one or two glasses and tell myself life isn’t going to get better after another, it’s actually going to go downhill and not pour another. Based on alcoholic philosophy of you can’t ever drink again, I don’t fit into that because my eating disorder was always the biggest problem and I can’t black and white completely avoid food. So practicing moderation, failing, learning, growing, coming up with better plan and coping skills, small wins, and getting stronger is how I do it. Avoidance doesn’t work for me. That’s what lead me into drinking in the first place was avoiding my feelings and reality of my situation. I had to confront it to get past it and now I’ve been there win that war and know what my red flags are to watch for and keep boundaries and accountability to prevent that from happening again. You don’t have to label yourself to have a problem or want to work on it and I would also say you do t have to get “bad enough” for someone to help. That was hard for me is that I thought to qualify to get help, I had to get worse. All I had to do was use my voice and advocate for myself. This is all to say that it sounds like you know this is a problem and want to change, get help however that may look. And highly recommend processing why you’re drinking. What is it giving you? What are the obstacles keeping you from sticking to drinking less? And realize that it may very well start to take things away from you if it hasn’t already if you don’t get a handle on it. Use this to scare the shit out of you and put in the work to make changes. Either way you’re going to end up digging yourself into a hole and eventually have to get yourself out. Your life is your responsibility so choose your hard- now or later when it’s even harder? No one is coming to save you, it’s time for you to save yourself while you still can. I am here if you need to talk.

If I’m being completely honest your very nonchalant about the fact your an alcoholic and I’m not judging you at all but that just concerns me greatly and I think you need to seek out counseling because you are so young too young to let that take over.