Exploring Suicidal Thoughts and Triggers

Tw: suicide I recently had suicidal thoughts for the first time in about 6 years. I was driving and thinking about how sad I felt and questioning what the hell made me relapse with drinking. The next thought was what if I just let go of the wheel and drive into traffic. I forgot what those thoughts felt like.

Growing up, the way people view me, the way I view myself, all that good stuff

how I was mistreated and how awful people seem to me

Honestly? Everything and nothing. It's the only thing my brain wants to think about.

Usually stress from societal pressure and expectations about what i should have already accomplished by now... That and feeling unlovable are my top two.