Struggling with Restrictive Eating: Need Help Identifying My Disorder

tw for detailed descriptions of my eating disorder. hello. I'm trying to get some information about eating disorders. I have a restrictive eating disorder and possible arfid (not diagnosed) but I can't find anything about types of restrictive eating. so maybe if I give more details somebody can tell me what one to google if that makes sense? like what it sounds like. it's not anorexia or bulimia because I don't throw up and I'm not interested in being skinny. just maintaining a middle ground sorta. I'm ashamed to eat. when I relapse I only allow myself one meal a day, and if I go over, I starve myself for a day. and the more meals, the longer I go without. sometimes I'll see how long I can go without food, before somebody notices. or until I absolutely can't handle it anymore. on days I starve I only allow myself snacks. at one point I was trying not to have snacks at all. I can go a decent amount of time without relapsing, convince myself I'm doing better and I don't actually need help. but one comment from somebody can start the cycle over again. last time it took about a few months or a year to get back to eating more than one meal again. and I rarely eat three meals anymore. does anybody have any idea what thing might be? im gonna bring it up to a doctor but I want to have an idea of what it might be first.