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QueenOfCrohns

775d

I’m 20 and I’ve had SEVERE ocd my entire life. Like I’ve been diagnosed since childhood and my list of themes grows literally every year. One theme that I’ve really been struggling with lately is somatic. TW// I’m gonna get into bodily autonomy, it’s gonna trigger me just writing it, so I figured I’d warn y’all At first it started getting really bad at night, like I would become overly aware of my heart and my brain and other internal organs and then it was my skeleton. And I developed this tic where I punch myself in the stomach every time I think about it because it makes me absolutely panic. The heart is by far the worst one… like I can’t look at pictures of it (even silly drawings that don’t resemble a real one, same goes with the brain) I can’t hear people say it, or talk about it, and it’s driving me mental. At first it was just at night, and now it has started affecting my daily life. It’s happening all the time and it sends me into full blown panic attacks and I either have to down anxiety meds or sleeping meds, or both & then hella distract myself in order to get through it. It happens every single day. I can’t afford an OCD therapist at the moment, nor do I have the time in my schedule for therapy right now, as much as I’d like to go… any tips for how to get through this on my own? Any tips for coping? Any ERP or CBT skills to work help through it? I’m pretty desperate at the moment, I’ll try anything at this point. I’m so tired of living this way. I’m constantly thinking about my heart, panicking and hitting myself and it’s no way to live. :(

    • mrishuh

      775d

      I'm 17 and have struggled with horrible OCD for as long as I can remember (but I was diagnosed in like 2014). I was in an outpatient program for about 3 months last summer. It was exposure therapy 2 hours a day, 4 days a week. I learned that I have to keep trying to come up with my own exposures and pay attention to my compulsions. Maybe if you could start with really little exposures like looking at the word that triggers you? Then you could build up to bigger things. Sorry if this isn't helpful! (Lol "sorry" is a reassurance seeking compulsion for me so I shouldn't have said that)

    • BravestToaster

      775d

      That's actually really terrible :/ I'm sorry you go through this. A therapist does help a lot so as soon as you can get one, do! I'm guessing that means you don't see anyone for medication too? Medication helps me a lot. But I also practice ERP at home. I had a therapist I would do it with but cash is low for me too. :P Using some meditative phone apps are great! There are so many out there. I just look them up and then download a bunch to try and see what works best. But also getting myself more comfortable talking about it makes it easier to deal with. That in itself is exposure therapy. Even just messaging people about it helps a lot in my day to day

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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