What Does Depression Feel Like?

It's an on going battle. I used to be extremely suicidal. And have anger issues. And it all stemmed from self hatred and feeling like I was a mistake. But I got therapy for my anger issues and meds for the depression. It's been years. It's gotten better. But I still struggle with these negative thoughts. Sometimes they last for a couple days. Sometimes it's months. The worst of it is when you feel completely numb. Even trying to laugh at a comedy feels forced. You don't know how to feel things. Definitely not something I would wish on anyone.

For me it's the fear of failure with no motivation. Not wanting to do anything but fearing other people finding out. Never having real friends because I can't open up. Bring called lazy and gross because you can't bring yourself to do what everyone wants and expects from you. It's being blamed for things that aren't your fault and not being the perfect puzzle piece you 'should be'. It's feeling everything and then numb, and not knowing what to do with yourself

It's difficult, people don't understand you when you say that you are sad, angry, suicidal, or just in general. Well for me. 🙁