Hi again, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I get it, I'm living in an abusive household and there's been a few times I've had the same feelings. I go to therapy which has helped me get healthier coping mechanisms while under these stressful circumstances, so maybe you could start there. I once had to admit myself into the psychiatric hospital because the thoughts of offing myself was too much, and being there helped me a lot. There's no shame in admitting you need help.

Have you ever looked into anxiety or a panic disorder? Getting me on meds is a Good thing when they work right. I have worry , anxiety, and a mood problem with meltdowns. Welcome to talk to me about it. You probably feel like you don't fit in because you moved a lot. That's how I feel constantly.