Feeling Suicidal and Overreaction from Friends

I've been feeling slightly suicidal and feelings of needing to settle harm. I'm not going to do it. they're just thoughts. but last night my friend overreacted when i reached out and tried to get me hospitalized! now i feel like i shouldn't reach out until I'm ready to actually follow through and commit to it. It's taken so much to get to being able to reach out to friends and now i just feel like I'm a burden to everyone when they just want to get rid of me like I'm a problem! the problem is my abilify didn't get filled in time so I've been without it a few days ago I've gotten more and more depressed! i wish i could inject it into my bloodstream and just feel better instantly so the thoughts went away! 😕