Feeling Invisible with Chronic Illness

The pandemic has not helped and we all have down days. I feel better now than 2.5 months ago but I still have health problems. Things that have helped me: staying away from negative news, listening to soothing anxiety music (there are some great ones out there that help people with PTSD), sometimes family members are contributing to major stress, I am working actively to set strong parameters for mental and physical health.

Ditto to everything except the shopping. I like to make stuff. It often makes me wonder if I am doing enough. I want to sleep all day, so I won't face anything negative. I won't take pictures because I feel hideous. I wish I could think clearer. I told my kids I didn't want to live past 65. I'm tired of watching people I love die. They tried to tell me I don't get to decide when I die. I replied watch me. Irrational thoughts. SMH. Why won't these feelings go away? I know there are times I'm thinking clearly. What to do.....