Anyone else have strict parents who lessen your motivation?? I feel like having ADHD makes my motivation very susceptible to outside influences, and I often feel like the more my parents tell me to “get over it” and “put your f**king head in the book” I feel less motivated and more intimidated, like I’m doing this for them and not me. How do I garner my own motivation and separate it from their own desires/wishes for me?
Have you tried talking to them honestly about the situation? Explain to them that in the way they behave they are only making it difficult for you, I know the problem, my parents were also very harsh with me, unfortunately, the only thing that helped me, in the end, was moving and living alone, that's how I developed full independence since my parents weren't always there for me.
thank you sm for responding— i’ve tried talking to them, but as Latinx boomer parents they lack the emotional intelligence to actually put into practice the boundaries that i demand :/ right now, i’m so used to it that i kind of tune out/dissociate to make sure i don’t go crazy lmaooo. and this is living alone 😭
I'm gonna be honest, that sounds like emotional abuse to me. Maybe it's not, and it's hard to judge a situation from a single example, but the way you wrote this post makes it sound like this is a regular thing. Definitely talk with them, since a lot of parents aren't aware that this behavior is harmful.
On a side note, if you struggle to focus on something you can try a mini reward system. Get a few of your favorite treats (candy, chips, etc.) and spend 10-15 mins focusing on your task. When you're done, get one of the treats.
your words are more validating than you can imagine. sometime it has felt like emotional abuse, and they have so many marital problems that i feel like i’m both a child & a couples counselor at once lol. thank you sm for your advice, i absolutely love the reward system idea!!
Honestly, I can't say much cause I'm in the same situation. But definitely have a serious conversation to them about it. Ask them to hear you out and explain your feelings.
I recommend watching "Why Is It So Hard to Do Something That Should Be Easy?" by HowToADHD on Youtube. I think your parents' approach certainly makes motivating yourself harder!! https://youtu.be/Uo08uS904Rg
☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision
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Anyone else have strict parents who lessen your motivation?? I feel like having ADHD makes my motivation very susceptible to outside influences, and I often feel like the more my parents tell me to “get over it” and “put your f**king head in the book” I feel less motivated and more intimidated, like I’m doing this for them and not me. How do I garner my own motivation and separate it from their own desires/wishes for me?
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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision