Feeling Lost and Alone

My partner is a recent sonography graduate! I've had useless therapists too. Therapy didn't help me until I found someone who specialized in Borderline Personality Disorder. I owe her my life. Don't give up on therapy. There are so many modalities which they don't just listen to you. I don't know your conditions but I recommend seeking a therapist who specializes in them. It helped that my therapist was in the same demographic (young Asian-American woman). You should consider that too.

I totally relate to you. Whenever I share these feeling people look at me like they're scared I'm going to hurt myself right then and there in front of them but normally I don't want to hurt myself. I just don't feel a reason to be and I feel totally alone and isolated. I hate this feeling and I wish no one had to feel it but I guess it helps to know we aren't alone in the feeling.

My best advice is still talk about it anyway. Find people like what your doing on here because we're all going through it with you and these are methods that helped us personally and talking about it with anyone you become close with even if they can't help it let's you get it out, feel less alone in your fight, and helps them understand you better. With the passion bit I've struggled with that and still do. I got to a point where I am just trying everything I can. I'm working different entry level jobs to see what I like and don't and trade schools like mechanics or cosmetology if you want to test one out could be paid for with those entry level jobs

Life these days sucks. It really does. If you were depressed before, covid has only made that hole bigger. On top of the stress of everything else I struggle making friends and currently don’t have any either and it makes me feel like I can’t do anything. What keeps me from wanting to end it all (and I know this is what everyone says but it does help) is 1. Don’t let the world win. We make our own life and our own happiness. Relying on others to give us that happiness will never be as fulfilling as the happiness we give ourselves. 2. Try to think about the nice things. This isn’t just “trying to stay positive”. It means thinking about something that makes you happy like puppies or the beach. Things that if we killer ourselves would never be able to enjoy again. You are not alone. Time heals all and currently you are on a timer counting down to feeling better. You just don’t know when that end date is. Keep staying strong and eventually you’ll get what you deserve.