My Wild Night at a Party

last night a lot happened. i’m 18 but i’m still in highschool since i got held back a year for some shit when i was young. so a couple of people at my school were talking about going to a party and when i open up my phone there’s all these posts about this massive event people are going to. the girl i like posted about it too so i guess that was my cue to go. even though i’m 18 i still live with my parents and they’re extremely strict so there’s no way in hell i’m going to this with them knowing. at least my mom since i was at her house and my parents are divorced. i was going to go to the party dressed up as patrick bateman from american psycho because i thought it would be funny. i got dressed up and texted my friend asking him to pick me up. he sends me his ETA and i sneak out the window waiting outside for about 10 minutes. i paced around sort of endlessly until he gets there and i hop in. he was laughing at my costume for a bit then he typed in the address lit up a cigarette then we drove off. he was going fast as fuck i think we were going 113 at one point. at first i was worried as hell and scared about what if my mom finds out etc. then i don’t know what happened but something clicked and i just started laughing very loudly and my friend just thought i was high or something so he laughed too. once we get to the party i call the girl that i like and ask her where she is but it’s loud and we can’t hear much but once i get in i see her and ask how she is etc. i hadn’t seen her in a long time but we started having fun until i realized she was drunk as fuck. it didn’t matter to me though since i expected people to doing all sorts of things but she kept holding my hand and eventually she was dancing with me and to spare the details it got very intimate but then it came to my realization that she probably wouldn’t have done any of that if she wasn’t drunk and i felt like shit. so then i went over to a room keep in mind it’s crowded as shit but this area just had people chilling out smoking so i thought it would help her to just rest but she wanted to drink more and i didn’t know what to do. i couldn’t literally stop her and i didn’t want her to not like me so i gave her 5 bucks cuz i don’t think she could get much with that. i took the rest of my money and got a joint then i sat down in a chair and tried to relax while i smoked. some guy came next to me that was sweating his ass off because it was so hot in there and he sat down next to me and we talked for a bit then i got up to go check on this girl and she’s with some dude who’s trying to convince her to drink more than she already had so i grabbed her and went into the mosh pit. i didn’t really know what my plan was but i was high so i didn’t think ahead. i went into the mosh pit and danced my ass off until i ran to the bathroom to throw up. i put myself together and i went to the speakers no clue where this girl was but i didn’t care i just wanted to drown out everything that was happening. the dj stopped the music and pointed at me and yelled “ITS PATRICK FUCKING BATEMAN” and a lot of people just started cheering. i was so disoriented i didnt know what to do so i just got up on the podium thing and screamed something that didn’t make sense. DJ asked me if i wanted to play a song and i told him to play jealous - eyedress and i just jumped into the crowd until i found the girl i was with and she just made out with me obviously because she was drunk but i felt so guilty because i know she wouldn’t have done that under any other condition. then i look up and the DJ just stops playing everything and somebody yells “YO THE COPS ARE HERE” and everybody was screaming and running so i bolted my ass out of there until i came to a dead end then i hid in a dumpster full of boxes and i was just laughing the entire time but i was not happy to any extent i was horrified at everything that happened and i thought about calling 911 and “turning myself in”friends picked me up an hour later and we went to an abandoned overpass and we all smoked out of a pipe on an abandoned overpass then drove home. it was so strange because so much happened but i felt so dissociated and scared the entire experience.