Struggling with a Toxic Friendship After a Breakup

That feeling is truly the worst and I've definitely been there before :( It really does get better sooner than you feel it will, but that doesn't make it hurt less in the moment. Allow yourself to feel hurt and angry, even if it feels difficult. You're allowed to live your life in a way that makes You happy; you're SUPPOSED to! If they impede on that, hit the bricks! New people will come along eventually, and when they do, allow them to fill that hole so you can move on

I get this 100%. As a person with BPD when we get attached to someone you feel safe with them and when that safety is breached, yes it hurts, but in your mind you want what's best for them even if it's them hurting you. So you want to stay friends and be able to stay in their life to protect them if the time ever comes down to it. But that's not good for you or your health (physical or mental) you need to slowly start cutting this person off and seeing what you thought you needed from them in you.