Struggling with Self-Harm and Relapse

2 weeks ago I was 3 days away from being clean for a whole year but I fucked it up and I cut and I've cut every single day since then I can't stop and I don't want to this will kill me and I've accepted it it's way to hard to fight this it's way to hard to stay clean I've tried so hard and I can't find the motivation to keep trying my partner was my motivation to try hard but now it's like I don't care if he leaves me or not because he deserves better my life went from being great to horrible in the span of 2 hours when I decided to cut I don't know what to do anymore and I have no one to talk to about this