Struggling with Self-Acceptance and Weight Loss

How do I get better at liking myself no matter what my body looks like? I finally got to where I accept myself for being curvy. But I also know losing weight would be ideal because then my doctors would take my chronic pain seriously, plus it would be better for my arthritis as I get older. But also I have a horrible metabolism, and even with a proper workout routine and healthy diet, I still seriously struggle to lose weight. I'm scared to stay at this weight because nobody takes me seriously. But I'm also scared to lose weight (like going from 230ish to 160ish at 5'5") because I know loose skin isn't attractive and will be uncomfortable and having so much loose skin will make a different condition I have worse. (I can't afford surgery to get rid of loose skin). So either way I feel both attractive and unattractive and also have a health issue associated with it. So how do I just stop caring so much? If I should try to lose weight, any tips for managing the loose skin? I usually like wearing revealing clothing.