Struggling with Schizoaffective Bipolar Type, BPD, PTSD and Asexuality

Yes . I ended all my relationships growing up couldn't keep a single relationship . The love and hate ... 😢 . Now I have no feelings . I just have sex . The last attachment I had was for a year and 7 months I try my hardest to make it last I did everything to make it work. Then in the end his parents made him choose between me or them cause they where going to disown him I guess that I was that awful of a gf . :/ . I am a relationship now and I have the same feelings I have as you do because he lives a long ways but he comes see me out of the blue . I have mix feelings about that . He asked me not to cheat on him . I agreed. I'm trying to remain loyal but I was talking other guys before him and he won't put in a relationship on his profile cause I had a episode (skypizaphina) and he didn't know how to take it. So idk. Maybe I need to try harder. If you truly want to make it work and you love him deep inside . Then you will do you can do to make it work