Struggling with Polyamory and Communication

I am feel a little off my game the last week. Christmas was a little bit of sour note and I was alone. sucked. I know I agreed to living this polyamorous way of living with my wife. I keep messing things up and not communicating appropriately. My energy is way off we got a dog which I am not in the slightest getting accustomed to her dog. It keeps sinking me deeper. she said I am a full time job she is exhausted I was good for a point coming out of summer. routines were great when she has been gone I find myself not following them mindlessly scrolling TV and phone. I need to cut back drinking and smoking weed. as I am letting that consume me and I'm not at all available, metaphorically for my wife to relax from a long day. I need friends to chat with and assure I can get through this. thanks for sticking around reading this.