Struggling with Mental Health Medication

I feel the same way sometimes, that somehow I made myself worst by educating and trying to help myself. When I first started medications I felt that feeling non stop but as time went on it became less frequent. I try to focus on the fact that it may not be easy but I’m taking the steps to feel better. I was put on lamotrigine a couple months ago to treat my bipolar 1 and I had tried bupropion to treat my adhd/depression as well. I had the exact same side effects. My dr switched me to Ritalin to help treat my adhd. Maybe you can give that a try. The advice I have for the ritalin would be to monitor closely for the first two weeks r so. I know it seems hard to keep up with it, it took me months to finally stick to keeping track of two weeks. But when I did it told me so much. The only side affect with it that I experience is that I become a bit more irritable while being on it for a couple days. But it definitely helped me with focusing and not spacing out. All that matters though is that you start this journey when you feel ready.