Struggling with my hobby and sleep

oh yeah, my mother was a total manipulative abuser. so I have to catch myself all the time when I'm mad or frustrated from pulling her tricks. Often, they don't believe theyre being manipulative. If you try and confront them directly they will take it as a personal attack. So using your example, it'd be more like mom:"it's 500, but you're passionate about it and i love you." just ignore all the subtext of buying love/leverage and be like "yeah i am, this is important to me, thank you." and later if she pulls the I spent 500 already card, dont bow to guilt just be like 'I thought we agreed it was worth the money because it was important to my interests and success?' you know? try and hear and reiterate the exact words, do not acknowledge any of the subtext ever. Over time, she may learn to be more direct.

ah. the classic parental emotional manipulation. Guilt Tripping. I haven't met anyone who managed to stop the behaviour, just stay strong and remember you are allowed to have preferences/wants, and are definitely allowed to voice them. Just because they don't like it, doesn't diminish that. You aren't a toy or a pet, hold firm to your autonomy and ask when you want. As long as you aren't demanding, it's fine. There's some good youtube videos on tricks or even how to handle specific scenarios of the Guilt Trip. You kinda have to train them out of it? Like if you ignore the subtext of guilt and take them at face value only everytime they learn that method of control doesn't work. With varying degrees of success, it at least helps.

i would try talking to her about it. tell her how you really feel and see what her opinions are on all of it!