Struggling with Gender Identity and Shame

I have BPD so I mimick personality and behavior of people; so idk if I'm just doing that or what, because my partner is a trans female. I think Tonight I realized that I'm trans and not just gender fluid or non-binary. and I'm actually quite emotional about it so I'm confused and taken back. but I feel almost ashamed of my Discovery because I hate the gender that I feel like. and my body as it is has done many beautiful things, like feed and create 2 beautiful children; and I like how woman look, just not on me. I've had dreams of me being the opposite gender many times and I LOVED it, I've also been a tomboy my whole life and get along with men better than woman. I also have more of a masculine build anyway... excuse my ranting, I'm quite scared.