Hey fam, I know exactly how you feel. When I was younger I never felt like a girl but never knew I could be different til I found out what trans meant. Then I started transitioning and went onto testosterone and started questioning my gender more because I started hanging around more non-binary people and trans people than cis people because I felt safer within my community. I figured out I'm also non-binary and it's okay to sometimes feel more masc than feminine or more feminine than masc. I'm not saying you're non-binary but I found it helpful seeing trans as an umbrella term, there's so many different genders. Maybe have a Google around agender and gender non-conforming and see if that helps? ❤️

Gender is a spectrum like so many things. It's okay to question, search, and change. Non-binary might be a good fit for you, but if calling yourself a trans male makes you feel validated, then do that. Men can be feminine, too. I would honestly be a little careful talking to hrt or gender specialists -- I experienced a lot of pressure to be masc all the time since I am a trans male, but most days I feel more femme. Just be kind to yourself. You'll figure it out -- or not, and that's okay too.

Very tuff situation

I feel the same but never transitioned, I had a partner who accepted it all but now we are no more. I played m in games I dressed as a drag king when I was younger and I loved it. But to be honest my dream body is to be fem except for down there. But that will cost too much and no one would do the opp on a presenting female. It angers and upsets me I loath down there.

Toxic masculinity exists, perhaps you are overcoming it and accepting all parts of yourself the seeming fem being one of them.

Identity is so important to our mental health, so I can imagine how difficult this would be for you. I don't know if this helps, but male and female are just labels when it comes to gender and shouldn't be a list of criteria you feel you have to live by. Think about this, if there was no society to judge you or for you to explain your identity to, would you be happy with yourself? If you fully transitioned to a male but still wore dresses and had long hair, would you be happy with who you are?