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tanaka

426d

(This text is long, I'll add some spaces between for the sake of your eyes) So, I am a trans male, and I'm having issues with my gender. I've always, since I was little, seen myself as a boy. Up until I found what transgender meant I said "I wish I were a boy" or "I'm a boy in a girl's body.", of course. I always chose the boy main character in games, dressed as a boy online and even attempted to get into little boyish things like football and dinosaurs. (which obviously didn't work out). So when I discovered that I could change my gender and be who I wanted I was happy, and I never really had to come out to my parents, they just found out eventually and accepted me enough. They didn't say anything unless they had a question about it. (Thank goodness!) But just recently I became confused. I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend, who is Nocisma, (Or Neptunic). When I look in the mirror I don't see a girl or a boy. I usually dress very feminine, I just now found out my hair grew long enough to put in a ponytail, which made me look more feminine, but a while ago I was constantly mistaken for a cis male by my brother's friends, which is a VERY good thing to me, and were very shocked when they found I am trans! But it's really not that easy. I don't know who I am. I really don't see myself as a boy because of how I look, and I don't see myself as a girl because I've been a boy most of my life and I'm just so used to it. It's so hard to explain how I feel without sounding insensitive. Does anyone understand how I feel? and if so, what should I do? Any tips? I can go more into detail but I wrote enough and I don't want to overshare.

Top reply
    • Bre19

      403d

      @zjb I do agree with if you are able to do this

    • Beckle

      408d

      Identity is so important to our mental health, so I can imagine how difficult this would be for you. I don't know if this helps, but male and female are just labels when it comes to gender and shouldn't be a list of criteria you feel you have to live by. Think about this, if there was no society to judge you or for you to explain your identity to, would you be happy with yourself? If you fully transitioned to a male but still wore dresses and had long hair, would you be happy with who you are?

    • Aliesha

      408d

      Toxic masculinity exists, perhaps you are overcoming it and accepting all parts of yourself the seeming fem being one of them.

    • Aliesha

      408d

      I feel the same but never transitioned, I had a partner who accepted it all but now we are no more. I played m in games I dressed as a drag king when I was younger and I loved it. But to be honest my dream body is to be fem except for down there. But that will cost too much and no one would do the opp on a presenting female. It angers and upsets me I loath down there.

    • Bre19

      409d

      Very tuff situation

    • Anise

      426d

      Gender is a spectrum like so many things. It's okay to question, search, and change. Non-binary might be a good fit for you, but if calling yourself a trans male makes you feel validated, then do that. Men can be feminine, too. I would honestly be a little careful talking to hrt or gender specialists -- I experienced a lot of pressure to be masc all the time since I am a trans male, but most days I feel more femme. Just be kind to yourself. You'll figure it out -- or not, and that's okay too.

    • zjb

      426d

      I think speaking to a professional especially someone who specialises in things like trans and body dimorphia would definitely be beneficial for you sweet pea

      • Bre19

        403d

        @zjb I do agree with if you are able to do this

    • 420gaymer

      426d

      Hey fam, I know exactly how you feel. When I was younger I never felt like a girl but never knew I could be different til I found out what trans meant. Then I started transitioning and went onto testosterone and started questioning my gender more because I started hanging around more non-binary people and trans people than cis people because I felt safer within my community. I figured out I'm also non-binary and it's okay to sometimes feel more masc than feminine or more feminine than masc. I'm not saying you're non-binary but I found it helpful seeing trans as an umbrella term, there's so many different genders. Maybe have a Google around agender and gender non-conforming and see if that helps? ❤️

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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