Struggling with Flashbacks and Overwhelming Emotions

TW mentions of sh i’m having flashbacks and my paranoia and fear and everything is so bad right now, i want to bite deep into my skin to make it stop. all of the sensations and feelings and traumatic memories are replaying and i want to curl up and cry, but if i do the people around me are going to be concerned and i don’t want anything to do with other people right now. i want to eat but i know i shouldn’t because i’m not hungry, i’m stressed out and i’ll feel guilty afterwards. i’m probably going to just get a cup of grapefruit juice and play a game to try to calm my mind. but everything is a lot right now. i ran out of my escitalopram so i’m going to be off it tonight. not sure whether i should take my quetiapine or not.