Struggling with Disabilities and Depression

⚠tw for death mention, chronophobia, and negativity in general i have been very down about having so many disabilities and still looking for more answers and possibly more disabilities. it makes me realize even if the world were fair and i was stable and safe, i would still live a shorter and less full life than others. and its making me so severely depressed. its constantly on my mind. there hasnt been updated scientific stats in yrs but life expectency for moderate to severe disabled people stats have made me even more depressed. i think about depressing things like my last wishes and things id like to do in my short life. think about wills and whatnot. and sometimes i just lay in bed wondering what to even do with the rest of my life. i live in the most inhospitable and economically and politically wrecked country. but its not like i can uproot and go somewhere else becuz i will just bring my disabilities with me and i may still be unhappy and have a hard time living normally. i love myself i really do disabilities and all but sometimes nothing can make things feel less bleak. am i alone in this occassional/often struggle? any words of advice or encouragement?