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BryceV

763d

I usually get these really dark deep thoughts that make me want to bury my head in a meat grinder. I get them when I'm by myself at night and it's quiet. It'll be the smallest thought that turns into me wondering why the world has a personal vendetta against me. like I have nobody to talk to and no one understands me and all I ever try to do is the right thing but i always end up fucking it up. The past 4 relationships I've been in I've cheated on my partners and I dont even feel guilty about it until I get these deep dark thoughts. They kind of bring me back to reality which I don't like being in. all of this might have to do with the abuse I endured by my step dad as a 6yo all the way to the age 15. I never thought that it would come to haunt me in the future but here we are. if anyone out there can understand what I'm going through and maybe help me I'd appreciate it.

Top reply
    • Sktchy

      762d

      I could not have said it any better, I understand most of what you’re going through and I am dealing with the same problems hopefully we can get through this together 🫠

    • Sktchy

      762d

      I could not have said it any better, I understand most of what you’re going through and I am dealing with the same problems hopefully we can get through this together 🫠

    • Jaxen

      762d

      hey! I struggle with the same thing but I have some advice for the assholes that cheated on you. First of all, it isn't your fault the decisions they made, it never will be your fault and you didn't deserve it. second of all, heal. I found myself running back again and again to the same emotionally avaliable people unconciously. You're bound to attract alot if these people by default and it sucks. I wasn't taking my time to heal from those past relationships so finding rebounds or trying to get back into love quickly had me finding people who are just like my exes. Good luck, I hope you get the help you need and the happiness you deserve ❤️

    • Bunny_

      762d

      Hey! Before I was on medication I’d have a really loud floor fan for ambient noise and listen to podcasts before I sleep! I personally love crime podcasts because of the suspense about finding out who did what. I hope this helps <3

    • yeli

      762d

      Am sorry that ur feeling like this

    • Maypie

      763d

      I get the really, really rough depression nights too. I have one or two friends I trust with my life that I talk to occasionally during them, and it helps ground me a little. It sounds like your trauma is affecting you, but it can get better. There's counselors that specialize in identifying how it's affecting you and finding ways to help it not affect you anymore. I'm so sorry you went through something like that. But please know that it can get better.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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