Struggling with Coping Mechanisms and Emotions

I love this answer. Crying feels good in a weird way. I sometimes go outside and just talk out loud, not quite yelling, just speaking to the wind about where my life is at and how unfair it is, and honestly, it feels good. Just to get it off my chest and let my irritability out to the night sky, rather than getting upset with my dogs or my husband about stupid things when really, I just have things stirring deep down.

Cry. No not trying to be mean, I'm serious. Cry. Do something to make yourself cry. And just cry. The problem with understanding emotions we then don't feel them uh...yeah that's bad. So go watch a sad movie, take a hot shower, scream into something fluffy, do something to make yourself cry. Make plans to take a couple of hours and feel and cry and beat a pillow and let it out. Emotions are healthy we need to let them run or they'll claw us to death. 🤗💕

First off well done for carrying the load so far. I hope you occasionally sit and give yourself credit for the distance you have covered with the weight you have hauled. It so easy to beat on ourselves and yet so often we rarely take time to appreciate how far our own, mind body and soul has carried us. I won't take meds,saw the impact they had on loved ones, can't afford therapy and the free services are not consistent. Having to reexplain the trauma over and over to new therapists is traumatic and triggering. The biggest tool I've found aside from natural supplements, cold water exposure. I've shared this with several friends who have had anxiety and the results have been similar for everyone. The first few days, weeks are the hardest, but from day 1 you will experience the healthly 4 - 5 dopamine rise. Wim Hof states that within 10 days your physiology will already started to have altered. I end showers cold, you don't have to go all the way cold, but it does have to be cold enough to be uncomfortable. Comfort kills I noticed where the resistance was, neck and shoulders, I stuck at it for a few weeks and I finally got to the coldest my shower would go. Now it somehow doesn't feel cold, it feels strangely warm. It is one of the first things I do each day. As a bonus, I've lost some weight, my anxiety has all but vanished. I wish you well on your onward journey 🕉️

There are various apps such as "what's up?" Or "Finch" which I use when my cptsd is getting overwhelming. They have various things including guided grounding techniques, advice/information about different difficulties that can come with mental health issues. I'd recommend trying them especially as they are free and it's always worth a try once

I listen to podcasts about CBT. Dissociating, as you mentioned, it can get us through the day but it will not win the year. I noticed that it gets harder to maintain when I am 1) burnt out or 2) safe & secure enough to process things. We need to experience & acknowledge our feelings before they will finally rest. If you're like me, changing that is gonna be daunting. The longer you procrastinate your feelings, the more are built up waiting for you to meet with them. So, my advice is: 1) sit with your feelings, experience them, take a weekend and spend it reconnecting with yourself. For me that meant crying all weekend. 2) Research grounding techniques to use when you're emotions are higher than functional. I liked the 5-4-3-2-1 option & it helped to have a trusted friend repeat the steps to me. 3) plan aftercare! Processing emotions can be traumatic! Cut yourself some slack. My aftercare was a morning cup of coffee & a quiet morning but it can be anything that recharges you. 4) Take it one step at a time. I noticed that these "scheduled vulnerability " nights would get easier and easier, and that my aftercare was less and less burdening. I started to feel elated on aftercare mornings.

I'm not sure how to help either but what you call going numb I called living on autopilot for a long long time which my therapist later said is dissociation. I've started in the last year or so to be able to come out of that state but it's been a long and challenging road, via both meds and therapy. I have only just started to be able to even just tear up a little recently but still can't cry. I just wanted to share some of my story to let you know you're not alone and if you need someone to talk to I will do my best to try to help ☺️