Struggling to Stay Motivated Through Loss and Heartbreak

I’m having such a hard time staying motivated, it feels like everything I do something bad ends up happening, first I lost both my Grandpas in March, My Grandpa on my Mom’s side on the 1st and My Grandpa on my Dad’s side on the 16th I am not that close with my Dad and I was anxious being away from my mom but I was still upset about losing my Grandpa even though I didn’t know him that well, I was around my Dads side a lot when I was younger and I still do have memories with my Grandpa, I tried not to cry around everyone because I was trying to stay strong for my family but during April I started letting my emotions get to me and I got upset easily and I couldn’t control it, moving on to this month, me and boyfriend of eight months ended up breaking up six days ago, and that hurt so much, I tried so hard to be there for him and learn about his interests and change everything about myself for him even though I have been going through so much and he wasn’t even there for me, I still care about him so much and I can’t stop crying nonstop my last day of work was supposed to be the eighth because the job I was working at kept messing up our taxes so now I have to search for a new job, I was supposed to work the eighth but me and my boyfriend broke up on the seventh and my mom didn’t think it was a good idea for me to go to work and do housekeeping in a room by myself because I couldn’t even sleep all night and I was bawling my eyes out, I haven’t been able to eat or sleep or stay motivated these past six days and I keep blaming myself for everything, maybe I’m to emotional, maybe I suck at talking and having conversations, maybe I am bad at wording things, I try so hard to be there for everyone, I’m usually the type of person that listens and tries to be there for everyone but so many things are piling up at once and I feel like it’s my fault, I feel like everyone I care about would be happier if I shut them out of my life, I can’t stop crying and I can’t make my heart stop aching it just hurts so much 😭