Struggling to Explain My Disability

What are you trying to get on disability for? I think certain conditions make you automatically eligible, and certain conditions are very difficult to prove and is a huge process.

Theres just a lot of abilism

no, the system is just shitty. you won't be able to get disability without a lawyer, and even with a lawyer it takes several years and at least a few attempts. it's not you, the government just wants the credit for having federal aid programs but doesn't want to actually help anyone or spend money on them