Starting Over After Abuse: Navigating a New Relationship

Just wanted to put some jumbled, anxious thoughts out there so they aren't just floating around in my brain. It's been three months since I left my abusive boyfriend. Tonight, I started a relationship with someone new. It's scary. It's scary to be vulnerable with someone again after what my ex did to me. It's scary because while, for the most part, I'm fine, I'm still struggling to unlearn some of the things my ex conditioned into me. But this new guy is just...he feels safe. And I dont know if that's a trauma response being projected onto my view of him or if it's my actual instincts. He likes to stare at the color of my eyes just because he thinks they're pretty. (First time my ugly brown eyes have been called pretty, lol). He likes to tell me when I'm on his mind, and when he misses me, when he wants to hear my voice. He checks in with me through the day while he's busy at work, telling me how much he can't wait to spend time with me. But he also lets me breathe. He isn't like my ex, who was smothering. Wanting to be with me when I ate, when I worked (from home), when I *went to the bathroom*, when I slept, when I had to run errands. ALWAYS. Always following me, I wasn't allowed to do anything by myself. My ex was mean, he made me cry, he'd give me panic attacks on purpose just because he knew how to pull me out of them. He wanted me to be reliant on him for that comfort. But my boyfriend now..he makes me laugh on purpose. He's always trying to pull out a smile, or a giggle. Or when we're quiet and just watching a movie together, he'll say hi just so I'll say hi back because he missed my voice. I'm still a little anxious, but I think I found a good one. 💖