Struggling with Relationship Decisions and Guilt

This isn't super related to mental health. I just need a place to process out loud and with others. I feel a little guilty. I don't think I'm doing the right thing. I'm 34, female, straight, never had sex. Went on my first date at age 28, and have been in an on and off situationship with him ever since. We like each other and never fight. He has agoraphobia and depression, doesn't leave the house much, is on disability. This last year he told me he loves me, he lives a few hours away but we visit each other about once a month. We always makeout when we see each other. This is the part where I feel guilty. I have never taken myself off dating app and I still look at them and swipe. I haven't been on a date with someone else in a year. I would have a talk with my guy friend before I went on a date. I want to wait to have sex until I'm married and my friend is very respectful of that. I don't see myself marrying my guy friend that I care a lot about, there are reasons why it wouldn't work out between. I need tons of contact to the extreme and he barely speaks being one of them. I'm a Christian, he was raised that way but isn't anymore. I would feel like his caretaker in the relationship. I never had guys show interest in me in college or beyond, I have been on dating apps for years with no luck. I feel like a pariah. I also think my friend is lonely. So if we are both lonely and really like each other we might as well be lonely together? Is it horrible for me to look at dating apps if I still have a thing with my friend? I know I should probably talk to him about this. I don't even know how or what I would say.