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thats.rough.buddy

279d

How do I stop making things worse by not being able to read social cues? I keep asking for clarification when people speak, and it makes them angry with me. But when I misinterpret them, they get upset. It keeps causing people to be upset with me because I can't tell how they feel without asking. They even know I'm Autistic and I've told them why I have to ask them for clarification. How can I fix this? I feel lonely.

Top reply
    • mobilityaidbabe

      278d

      I just came from your last post, if this is about you asking your roommate if there is lingering anger, that's valid to want to know. Anger is triggering for me so I ask and tend to push. I've learned that giving some time before asking because anger is a natural response and it's lingering anger that will really hurt a relationship. Trying to guess what others are feeling and trying to dance around possiblities and hidden meanings is a form of masking. Wanting to know is valid, especially if they keep a sour attitude, but until then, don't waste your energy trying to guess all the time. People have a responsibility to communicate. You don't deserve the extra emotional labor ✨🩷

    • JessyP

      278d

      I am in a similar situation so feel your pain! You should try getting communication cards. That’s what I am getting for the same issue

    • mobilityaidbabe

      278d

      I just came from your last post, if this is about you asking your roommate if there is lingering anger, that's valid to want to know. Anger is triggering for me so I ask and tend to push. I've learned that giving some time before asking because anger is a natural response and it's lingering anger that will really hurt a relationship. Trying to guess what others are feeling and trying to dance around possiblities and hidden meanings is a form of masking. Wanting to know is valid, especially if they keep a sour attitude, but until then, don't waste your energy trying to guess all the time. People have a responsibility to communicate. You don't deserve the extra emotional labor ✨🩷

    • Redvelninja

      278d

      Omg I feel the exact same way! Like people wtf do you expect me to do, just lie and go along with it and just be ok with being confused.. ?

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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One suggestion is to surround yourself with people who not only accept autism but understand it at a fundamental level. Ask them to be clear with their tone, their feelings, etc. You don't have to be good at social cues, you just need friends who are willing to accommodate your disability. Therapy with someone who specializes in Asperger's can also provide ways of dealing with the understanding of the "social language".

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