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TayTayLove

746d

Does anyone else feel like communication is so hard and makes social anxiety so bad because most people are not verbally communicating the same thing as what they are communicating nonverbally..??

    • Hazel420

      743d

      Yes. And even more so when I'm in conversation with strangers and am trying to explain something that makes sense to me, but not them. So most of the time I end up seeming stupid or a jerk.

      • TayTayLove

        742d

        @Hazel420 I hate that, I have literally had to break down the science of stuff for people to understand the way I think and feel..

        • Hazel420

          741d

          @TayTayLove Same. I always am upfront about my mental disorders because I need people to understand why I say things a certain way or act a certain. Because most times I don't realize I'm doing it until I'm laying down for bed. Lol. Then I'm like "oh they probably think I'm a jerk."

    • Bunny.girl

      745d

      Yep. Why can't people just say what they need?? 😂

      • TayTayLove

        743d

        @Bunny.girl right, why can I not bite my tongue sometimes and why can I not get my words out sometimes why do I get judged when I speak and judged when I don't speak

      • GracefulKim

        744d

        @Bunny.girl I know what you mean!!! Maybe life would be too simple that way? I don't understand skirting around what you mean to make others feel more comfortable. If it's my issue why are they uncomfortable?? URGH

        • TayTayLove

          743d

          @GracefulKim 😭

        • TayTayLove

          743d

          @GracefulKim exactly I get so uncomfortable with situations where I feel like someone is manipulating or lying and I get wierd 😂

    • GracefulKim

      746d

      I've learned that most people are not aware of what their body language is saying so I try to listen to the words only. It takes a ton of practice though

      • TayTayLove

        746d

        @GracefulKim that's so confusing

        • GracefulKim

          745d

          @TayTayLove I totally get it!! Like I said it takes practice. If you only focus on the words they say then you'll be able to discuss those words. Or expound on them. Sometimes people have to lie to protect their feelings or they think it's not safe to tell the truth. I had to learn to let them tell that the way they could. I now view lying as either a manipulation tool intended to con someone OR as a self protective mechanism with no intent to harm. Most autistics can definitely tell when someone is lying. When someone tells me the truth after a lie, I'm not surprised anymore. I'm thankful they finally told me the truth. I don't feel betrayed like the people in TV are. I'm thankful that finally feel comfortable enough with me to let their guard down. Also since I misinterpret many things using their words and tone allows me a focus. Something I can continue to learn from. We learn, with time, how to read situations. We know how to sense emotion. I would want to help those people but I thought, and still defer to, giving advice would help. Now I know they just want someone to listen to them, sit with them, and not do anything else but hold their hand and show empathy. That still is a very very hard thing for me to do because my brain is still going 100 mph during that. So I look around the room I'm in and get curious and the next thing I know I've ruined the moment by changing the subject to some question about this item. So I now avoid sitting with grieving, sad people but I get misinterpreted by doing that. (They say I'm Insensitive or selfish or careless). So I still haven't figured that one out.

    • GracefulKim

      746d

      All the time, every day

    • em_Jay

      746d

      Yes

      • TayTayLove

        746d

        @em_Jay this has caused me so much stress and anxiety, how do you cope?

        • em_Jay

          746d

          @TayTayLove Honestly it is always hard to cope with it. I used to read books about communicating correctly and how to make friends and why people communicate the way they do..and i know this may sound a little centered to say aloud but not everyone sees the world the same way i do and not everyone can understand me the way i understand myself. Sometimes it is easier to cope with the differences between how they speak aloud and speak silently by thinking of the fact that it is simply that not everyone communicates the same way; we are all so very diverse and it is impossible for one person to completely understand each person they come across..doesn't help much with the social anxiety but it is nice to know that we all have trouble with communication one way or another.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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