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Bunn3y

729d

Does anyone have any advice/suggestions on supporting people, responding to others emotions, and comforting others when you’re autistic? Everytime I try and research tips I always find articles strictly for friends/family of autistic folk. There seems to be so little advice available for people who are actually autistic. When people come to me with serious issues, I have this huge desire to help them and comfort them but I seriously lack the ability to form proper responses - or any response or that matter. I want so badly to be able to support people but it’s so difficult!

Top reply
    • may_Bea

      729d

      I completely relate to this as I find this difficult as well. There are two things that I've read about in books/online that have helped me a bit (though I'm definitely not an expert). The first thing is that sometimes people are telling you how they feel just because they want to say it and don't want you to fix the situation and/or really respond to what's happening? In order to figure out what response they want, you can ask if they're just venting, looking for advice, or if there's another way that you can help them that way you know what they're looking for instead of having to guess that. Another thing I read about was a structure of speech that makes people feel like you're listening thats a part of 'active listening'. In it, you restate what they're feeling and say something like "I hear that you're feeling (emotion) about (situation)" before then responding to what they're saying that way they can correct you if you didn't correctly identify what they're feeling or there's something else that's actually what they want you to focus on that you didn't mention.

    • may_Bea

      729d

      I completely relate to this as I find this difficult as well. There are two things that I've read about in books/online that have helped me a bit (though I'm definitely not an expert). The first thing is that sometimes people are telling you how they feel just because they want to say it and don't want you to fix the situation and/or really respond to what's happening? In order to figure out what response they want, you can ask if they're just venting, looking for advice, or if there's another way that you can help them that way you know what they're looking for instead of having to guess that. Another thing I read about was a structure of speech that makes people feel like you're listening thats a part of 'active listening'. In it, you restate what they're feeling and say something like "I hear that you're feeling (emotion) about (situation)" before then responding to what they're saying that way they can correct you if you didn't correctly identify what they're feeling or there's something else that's actually what they want you to focus on that you didn't mention.

    • Simb

      729d

      I know everyone is different but for me in overwhelming situations the best thing my friends and family around me can do is keep calm sometimes when a place is getting to much for me to handle i am moved to a quieter place and i am not touched or hugged unless i ask because i am overestimated in that moment and sometimes it makes it worse they just sit and talk with me and destract me. And when i can't explain my emotional state they just bring up the things i love and it helps me out alot.

      • Simb

        729d

        @Simb I just realised this question is about helping others as a autistic, like helping the non autistic friends around you atlas that how i read it now. I tend to be overbearing and I've been trying to cut back on that and i used to add a situation similar to what they went threw to show they are not alone, but i learned people don't like that but i do i love when people bring in there actors it helps me feel less alone in my problem. I learned that the beat thing to do ( for my close people around me) is to just sit by them and letters them talk if they wish i keep silent and listen and take in what they have told me i Let them finnish venting befor i try to apply advice or any comment and that has been working pretty well for me and my friends

    • EatenByWormy

      729d

      Ask :) “What can I do to help?” They can let you know how best to support them.

    • Cloudlight

      729d

      I struggle with this a lot as well! I feel so bad when someone I care about is upset, but all I can think to do is offer possible solutions to the problem. I always thought I was showing how I care for someone by expressing a willingness to help the problem go away, but later learned that it was coming across as insensitive to the person who was upset. I don't know what else to do in those situations so now I just stand there uselessly and hover until they calm down enough to tell me what to do 😥

      • Bunn3y

        729d

        @Cloudlight me too!!! I would always bombarde them with an overwhelming amount of advice because it’s like the only thing I could ever think of doing.. and when people started getting upset by this I just :// got confused and have struggled to find a replacement option (for lack of a better phrase)

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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