Constantly Called Selfish by Family

I’m called so many things, miserable, a bitch, rude, grumpy, mean, selfish, all because the people who call me that won’t explain what was wrong with what I did to be called that! I’m particularly called selfish at Christmas with how practical I tend to be.

Selfish, stubborn, bossy, rude. So many more. And I get called those things when I set boundaries and say no, or when I am in pain and asking for help. This used to horribly twist my sense of self and I still have my trauma but I realized they were wrong and those assumptions and actions were their responsibility and spoke on their character. It is damaging to be told these things when others refuse to see you through the autistic lense and demand compensation from you over their expectations. They put more time and effort putting more into our body language than there is instead of listening to what we are saying and how we feel. And they ‘look between the lines’ when we speak and project. It is frustrating putting it lightly and I hope you know you do not deserve that. ❤️

Absolutely. Very common growing up as I always chose to do whatever it was that I wanted to do (ie. being engrossed in a special interest) over things that I had to do (I.e. low dopamine reward tasks like chores). What I’ve realized is that NT folks have things they don’t like to do just as ND folks, except NTs will do the thing they don’t like and turn it into a flex/martyr moment. NDs see the thing we don’t want to do, and we see no value in doing it for the flex/martyr moment because it’s still a low dopamine reward.

YES!! It makes me super self conscious because I’m not trying to be selfish but like I’m a person with needs like everyone else? I also get called rude and the like. Even when I’m simply trying to explain the brain differences so I can get what I need, that makes me selfish and inconsiderate somehow. It bothers me honestly.

They also call me rude and inconsiderate. I’m also told my humor is dry when I’m not even making a joke. I think NT people just don’t understand ND people. Unfortunately.

Constantly.