My Relapse: Journaling My Disordered Eating

tw for disordered eating talk and "journaling" or tracking or whatever my relapse. day 1: little hungry but it's fine day 2: I haven't experienced any negative effects except I've been dissociating more. I've been filling my empty stomach with juice and water. I'm hungry as hell but I'm getting used to the feeling. my family and I went out to eat and I barely touched my food, got to anxious. couldn't do it. I said I was full but my stomach.. it's so empty. day 3: my stomach is begging for food, but my anxiety and disordered eating say fuck no. I feel nauseous even at the thought of eating.