This sounds so difficult. The year I was so depressed I didn’t enjoy my birthday either. It just reminded me of another year I have to get through. Depression leaves you in a very lonely place. You’ve had to let go of some things but grabbed on to taking care for your mental health. I’m so proud of you! That to me is worth celebrating! I’ll have a party for you, you deserve good things. I know it may still bad, but please know that you are loved by me, this community, and the few family/friends you have. They may not make a big gesture but sometimes big love comes in small packages. You are not forgotten. You had the courage to write this here, and that shows you’re a fighter. You want to get better. I know this darker time in your life is painful but it’s the day that you shine. Give yourself some compassion and credit for how strong you are. Depression doesn’t get to have the final say. I’m here for you! ❤️

i qas trying to keep busy to not think about it but it didn't work and noe I'm crying. Thank you though. Ypur words are very comforting

After being really upset this morning and trying to just stay busy and not think about today...... which worked until it didn't..... I decided to take a deep breathe and acknowledge my birthday but wait to celebrate it. I don't have the strength to celebrate alone roght now, maybe in a couple years. I am going to wait to celebrate with my mom and dsughter after she is home. I have two friends who are insisting on doing their own celebrations with me when we can. I do delayed holidays all the time and I would rather acknowledge my birthday, apprecoate the birthday wishes, and then hold off on the actual celebrating yo do it even if it's a month late with people I care about and who care about me than trying to put pressure on myself to force myself to celebrate right bow on this day 😁