My Morning Routine Before Court: A Battle with Anxiety

This is how court mornings are always. I wake up hours before the sun, I do that every morning. I just lay here til I can't lay no more, then I shower and get dressed. Then, I try and make something to eat but it's really no use because my anxiety isn't going to let me eat it. It's more or less to pass the time. It doesn't make sense to be there before 9:30, and even that's still too early. So I piddle around til I'm eventually shaking on the outside, and that's when I'm just flying out the door full speed ahead. It's generally a little after 8 at that point, and it only takes me 30 mins to walk there. But there's a river near it, so during the summer weather, I've been known to go dip my feet in and read for about 20 or 30 minutes, or wade in it. People look at me like I'm crazy.... It's not my fault they built the restaurants and all that other crap on the river. I have to do what I have to do for my own self!! If not, I'll never make it to court, then they'll issue a warrant for my arrest. smmfh. It's mainly those with mental health issues that find themselves in court, but court is not friendly for your mental health. Not at all.... But at least it's almost 4 am you guys. I don't have much longer now. But I do see growth this morning. I'm not as frazzled as I would usually be. Maybe by next time, I won't have the head tension too.