Introduction and Struggles with Mental Health, Trauma, and Chronic Pain

TW - adolescent suicidal thoughts and tendencies, sexual trauma. Hello everyone! This is my first post, so I would like to introduce myself a little and tell a bit of my story! My name is K'Lynn, I'm 27 years young! I have a beautiful family life with my partner and little girl! On to the challenging stuff! I have been plagued with depression and anxiety since I can remember due to bipolar disorder, family trauma, and sexual trauma In fact, at 16, I had planned my death date, April 1st, 2011. All a pun because I felt my life was a joke. but my beautiful baby girl saved my life on March 31st, 2011, when my mother made me take a pregnancy test. My pregnancy was hard. One, because I was 16, B, because I was horribly sick, and finally, because my mother was going through so much stress, she took it all out on me. Well, I finally turned 18, got my own place, and things were good for a while. Till I met Chris, he was sweet, kind, and caring... right? We got married, and things were good for a while, then he decided I was too big and he started starving me, and he never REALLY beat me but he pushed me around and he mentality destroyed me, made me feel inferior, like I was nothing, like I could be nothing without him. We were together for 4 years and 2 days when my 6 year old came forward telling me the worst of the worst, and I'm gonna let your imagination run with you because even this is painful to discuss. It's one thing when it's you, but when it's your baby, you feel like you have completely failed as a mother, and you carry this guilt, even more so because I should have left with what he was doing to me. Anyway, we took care of him But that has left both of us with some pretty nasty Complex-PTSD But 6 months after that battle, I ended up hitting a hog on my way to work one morning. The hogs head ripped my tire well out, and I flipped 6 times, not one air bag deploying. the last time I flipped, I impacted so hard that the car removed pavement off of the road. Well, since that day, I have had horrible issues and chronic pain that I would assume is nerve pain on My left side from my neck down. My arm and leg get heavy . I constantly have pins and needles. Muscle spasms. I get this pin point sting that can be as light as being popped by a rubber band to as strong as having a cigarette put out on me in my foot, the back of my thigh, my back, the back of my arm, and hand. My leg is constantly on fire, be it a cold fire or hot fire, it does alternate, and depending on the day, it can be like a slow coal burn or raging bon fire. I have been diagnosed with degenerative arthritis in my spine with bone spurs, as well as bone spurs in both hips. Fibromyalgia (but the more I look into this, the more I think I've had it for a really long time, and the more I think my mother may as well) I have been looking for a neurologist for months who took my insurance AND does the test my PCP ordered, and I finally found one today. The only downside is I have to travel so far to see him. there really is so much more, and I could go on and on and on, but I want to meet some of yall, tell me about you, why are you here!