Struggling to Find Support Among Those with Similar Illnesses

You are amazing and an inspiration. Would you have ever learned these powerful life lessons without your illness? I don't know and, of course, living with your illness is a nightmare that no one should have to endure. You've learned what is important and what isn't. I wish that you could do a video about the things you've learned. I went to see the man who became paraplegic after being thrown from horse. Ironically, he played Superman, in the movies.( I think it was Steve Reeves) It was so inspiring to see what kind of life we can have, simply by the way we think. I got caught up in bitterness & atheism b/c nothing was getting me better and doctors can't diagnose me except for to say "fibromyalgia "which it isn't. They treat my symptoms only & those meds are harmful, eventually. I decided quality of life was better than quantity. I finally had enough darkness. The depression was the worst & I am so grateful that I'm not depressed every day, anymore, b/c they did find a mutation on my gene and gave me Deplin, which is a food additive. Years of antidepressants not working and now I can see light. That is what matters most. Our attitudes can make us sicker or can make someone like you an inspiration, to many still stuck in their anger & hopelessness. Thank you for your message and I will always try to do my best. I will keep you in my thoughts b/c whenever I want to throw a little pity party, I'll remember your words and get back in the light. Blessings💟

I was supposed to die long ago. What I have has no cure. I have heart attacks at least once a year. I now have heart failure as well as all the autoimmune disorder issues. I spent some years in a horrible depression. But I fight. I fight every day to feel better even if I can't physically GET better. I fight to find joy in my life, even if it's only one day a week I can get myself out and in the fresh air. I fight. I want more. I think that's why I haven't died yet. I WILL see grandbabies and be present in their life. I don't allow my disease to dictate my disabilities, instead I magnify my abilities. I take advantage of every possible light that is in my life and I don't focus on the darkness that I know is there, and that I know gets darker as time goes on. I spent so much time in that darkness. I misplaced my sadness and anger and grief on my friends and loved ones. Some left because they didn't want to understand. I didn't chase after them. That brought me some light, because I knew who my people were. Friends and family; TRUE friends and family will reach out and want to understand your limitations. They will also help you reach for what will bring you joy. They will help you reach your goals. Then you find new paths. The path I had and loved was gone. It made me feel empty. I wasn't a nurse anymore and would never be one again. Through the years of darkness I started to find my light. I got my SSDI immediately because I am considered terminal. I had to spend my time doing something joyful instead of sitting in my swirling thoughts of doom. It took me 8 years to get here. You can get here. I am not my diseases. Trust me, when a heart attack and another damn stent take my joy away, I get angry again. The darkness tries to be a blanket to comfort my mind, but I know how to fight it now. I'm able to stand up for myself now when someone looks at me using a mart kart thinking I don't look sick. I don't always need one, but sometimes I have no air and I have no choice. I no longer give a flying f@ck what anyone thinks of me. If I can't make it to a birthday party because my heart or my joints or something else drops me on my butt without notice, my people understand and don't judge me. Find your people and find your joy. I make jewelry and witchy things now, I make quilts, and I give them away to the NICU at the hospital. Find your joy. It's still in there. I promise you.

Sorry for the typos. My spellchecker is on LSD. It's aspects not addicts. Go on positive websites.

Mental illness is different than personality disorders. MI is something caused by a dysfunction in your brain and you can get meds & help to live a fairly good life. You have to want it. You have to take action. Personality disorders generally have no cure and are caused by genetics and some sort of childhood trauma or neglect. PTSD kinda falls in the middle b/c it can cause changes in the brain. I believe it is categorized as MI b/c they weren't ill until certain events triggered it. Personality disorders are different. Narcissists, sociopaths, borderlines, generally do not recognize that anything is wrong with them. They get diagnosed when their behaviors land them in trouble. There is no cure for them and it takes a really insightful person to take responsibility for the hurt that they cause others. They are all too, well aware of their own pain b/c they lack sympathy/empathy for others. Mentally ill people do feel normal guilt and don't hurt people when they're not sick. Schizophrenia, Depression, Bi-Polar can usually be helped with medication b/c their brain chemistry is off balance, just like any illness of other organs. As a psych nurse, both types of people were put into one unit. This is backward, as docs know that MI & P D/O are different and need to be separated. Some people with MI do have P D/O. The MI needs to be treated first, because people PD/O are often depressed but for different reasons. If you know someone who dwells on their problems, blames others and takes no action or responsibility for getting better, you will waste your energy and when you've had enough, they'll find someone else. If you are one of the few who really can see thst you have a personalityd/o and want to change, you are a special person and deserve all the help and care you can get. I have met some who say they have a p d/o but really don't accept responsibility b/c they don't understand their behaviors, just their symptoms( I'm sad, I've been betrayed, nobody cares about me) That could be true for MI people too, b/c people shy away from something they don't understand. They group MI & P d/o as "crazy". Our society has stigmatized the MI for having an organ that doesn't work properly. If your kidney or heart doesn't work, it's ok to talk about it and people sympathize. For some ungodly reason, people expect MI people to fix their own brains or its their fault.

Learned helplessness can be a very hard thing to break. My take- what is the next thing that I can do to improve my quality of life. Then I try to go do that thing even when my depression or fear of change makes me not want to.

Well, my issues are chronic and there's no cure 😅 so I can't really see "getting better" I know there are some illnesses that are curable and agree if yours is you should definitely want to get better.

It sounds so rude bc I never wanna invalidate people but whenever people act like this I can’t help but wonder if they’re “faking it”. Then I wonder why someone would even want to think about experiencing something so miserable, it’s strange.

i relate too. i used to vent to people about my mental illness all the time without realizing how much it was bringing them down, and i lost a friend because of it. i'm trying to get better but i'm too afraid to talk about my problems with my friends now😅 i'm not afraid to talk to people online but it seems like they almost enjoy indulging in sadness and feeling sorry for themselves sometimes. it's fine to be sad and talk about it but like we're here to get better! and it seems like they don't want to do that. as for trying to help or redirect behaviors, i find that people in distress mainly just want someone to listen and validate them. i'm trying to get better too so i can talk about that if u need someone :p

Wow, I didn't know there were people out there, like that.