Feeling Trapped: My Inner and Outer Selves Don't Match

I always seem to feel like the me on the outside is compelling opposite of the me I am on the inside. on the outside I have such anxiety that sometimes it feels crippling and makes me a bad parent. I'm always worried if what others think of me. I always want to do diffrent things like crafting sewing etc. I want to be happy with how I look have confidence. but I can't do anything. I'm constantly thinking of I try something new that I'm just going to fail everyone will hate it I will look stupid and people will talk about me. but the me I feel is trapped inside me literally can do all that is confident talented doesn't care what other people think. an I want to be the her but can't get it off my own way and mind. I hate the my life is the way its not going anywere. and on top of that iceberg I feel I'm the only one who ever feels like this so there's no point in telling anyone they will just think I'm lying being dramatic overeating having a warped point of view crazy making excuses. so I keep it all bottle up inside and I think that my body is getting to the max holding it all that I'm going to have a major problem or breakdown