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Feeling Out of Place with Peers: Struggling with Socializing and Substance Use

lilypetal

737d

Anyone else feel out of place with pple their age? I was asked to go drinking tonight by this person I’m kind of seeing and I told him I have a headache so I shouldn’t but to be honest I just am sick of drinking- I’ve had the worst experiences on alcohol and I’m currently on a stimulant and antidepressant that if I drink it could be dangerous so idk I haven’t told him that tho I just keep making excuses Also hanging out with him gives me extreme anxiety and I keep canceling bc of it and I should probably just tell him but idk how to honestly and I don’t think he’ll understand and whenever we’ve hung out in the past he just wants to smoke n sometimes I just wanna not do that bc it makes me just so out of it n my anxiety can worsen honestly when I smoke with others Idk man I just reached a point where I’m kinda done using weed (well except for sleep) and alcohol but it seems that that’s all anyone ever wants to do at my age

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Anxiety (Including GAD)

Headache

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    • Delirium

      737d

      @lilypetal screw the norm, do what makes you happy! Most people are actually much cooler about stuff than we tend to expect. Some people are jerks, but most people are pretty respectful of your choices as long as it doesn't affect them. I will say, too, that if hanging out with a particular person makes you anxious, that's not a good sign. If you feel the same way about all interaction that's one thing, but if something about this guy triggers those feelings, I would listen to that. Our gut feelings are right 99% of the time.

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    • hazyeclipse

      736d

      I can relate to feeling out of place, I feel like I'm missing out. I can't participate in things like that because of my medical conditions. I can't even go out, or meet anyone new really anymore because I've gotten to the point I'm not very functional anymore. It really sucks. I feel like I'm missing out so much on my youth, I'm 21 and never really got to enjoy my teen years or my 20s so far. Couldn't even do anything for my 21st birthday really. When everyone else gets to celebrate, drink, go out with friends on their 21st I was just.. sitting at home, bored and alone and feeling sick. I dunno. I just hate that this is the hand I was dealt. That this is the body I got.

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    • Delirium

      737d

      I kinda feel like I've outgrown that stuff too. If youre an adult, though, there's no rule that says you have to have friends exactly your age. I'm 24 and made some good friends in their 30s. Once youre an adult it doesn't matter so much, it's more about common interests and life paths

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      • lilypetal

        737d

        @Delirium I’m 19 so I’m not really sure what the norm is for age differences when finding friends but I do tend to already get along better with people older than me:”) but that’s true

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        • Delirium

          737d

          @lilypetal screw the norm, do what makes you happy! Most people are actually much cooler about stuff than we tend to expect. Some people are jerks, but most people are pretty respectful of your choices as long as it doesn't affect them. I will say, too, that if hanging out with a particular person makes you anxious, that's not a good sign. If you feel the same way about all interaction that's one thing, but if something about this guy triggers those feelings, I would listen to that. Our gut feelings are right 99% of the time.

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    • Sydari

      737d

      I feel this. TONS of people drink but it seems like everybody smokes weed these days. I used to consume a god awful amount of both and both now cause a lot of physical comfort for me but they always throw me into anxious/psychotic states. It feels so uncool to tell people I don't smoke or drink anymore, like "it'd be a lot cooler if ya did" lol. But yeah, I've definitely found people out there that don't smoke or drink or do and don't mind hanging out with people who don't, just gotta find them. It really seems like you gotta tell this guy at some point, you cant keep compromising your mental health just to hang out with him, ya know

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      • lilypetal

        737d

        @Sydari You’re right, I’m planning on having a little talk with him the next time we hang out just to explain a few things bc I do keep making excuses😬and I do need to find the right people they’re out there I believe but it’s hard to find them lol its like a rare breed at this age- it’s just I’ve had so many awful experiences on alcohol and weed similar to what u said but ty<3 this did give me a little push to go and talk to that person:”)

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        • Sydari

          737d

          @lilypetal truly, I wish it wasn't like that these days /: Happy to help ❤️

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    • Lunarix

      737d

      For starters, are you seeing a therapist for your anxiety? It can be really hard to find people that you really get along with, and yeah weed and alchohol seem super "in" with young adults nowadays so I feel you, but its a lot better on your mental health to not associate with people you have to constantly make excuses not to hang out with (as a young adult.)

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      • lilypetal

        737d

        @Lunarix Yeah making excuses is definitely not doing anything on my end but making it worse so I need to address that it’s just kinda tough for me to bc I’m not very confrontational:”) and I am seeing one for my anxiety but idk it hasn’t been helping a lot

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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