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480d
It’s so hard not to feel like I don’t deserve my girlfriend and I should just leave her for her benefit. We’ve been together 2 years and it’s honestly a healthy relationship but I shut down and I have mental health issues and just so much history and baggage and trauma and I just feel like it’s so unfair to her. She was raised by an extremely toxic narcissist and I’m so scared I’m making her feel like she needs to sacrifice herself more than she should.
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Depression
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Anxiety (Including GAD)
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469d
I think you should definitely open up to her and give yourself the opportunity to express how you feel.
1
Have you talked to her about it?
479d
I honestly get what your saying and can relate to you completely feel free to message me x
@BeeMarrie thank you !
0
Well, sounds like that you feel like you've failed her. Try talking to her and see if that's the case. If it is, try asking what you can do to make it better.
I think a lot of neurodivergent people/people with emotional history/trauma feel this way at some point with their partners, especially in healthy relationships. It can feel like you're not enough. As long as you're communicating and seeking help (from loved ones AND professionals when needed/possible) then I think you shouldn't be afraid of not being worthy of her love ❤️ I bet if she was raised by an extremely toxic narcissist then she probably feels the same sometimes. Have you tried talking to her about this? My partner and I have been together almost 9 yrs, both with trauma and struggles with our own mental health/conditions but talking things through has always helped 💕 even if it feels scary, you can do it
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@busy_bee thank you i really appreciate that, i have talked to her its just hard not to feel like she might just be saying things to make me feel better
@PlatoLogic12 I think a really important thing you have to learn in relationships is to both be honest and trust that the other is being honest
honestly I feel this way with my boyfriend too. I feel like I'm too much to cope with and shouldn't be making him deal with my bad mental health
@Stephanya I’m sorry you’re feeling this too
@Stephanya i definitely get that
First of all- you are not a burden. I'm in a relationship with someone who has mental health struggles, and I was raised by a toxic narcissist. Sometimes my partner needs a lot more from me and sometimes I need more from them. The important thing is that you check in with your girlfriend and and see if she is okay. If she has no problems helping you and isn't burnt out then I think there isn't an issue. In 2019 my partner needed a lot from me, and it was hard, but I love him and when I need him (now) he's there for me. It's how a relationship is balanced. I hope this helped. Wanted to share a story to show It's not always seen like the other person is 'baggage.' You're more than that.
3
@Stephaniej12112 also just to add, I do check in with her (I honestly suppress my emotions until I’m very sure she’s okay enough to deal with them) but I could probably do it more clearly so I appreciate the validation that that is something she needs and I should be better about.
@PlatoLogic12 that's what my partner and I do. It really helps to just be open and honest. Sometimes I have to say 'hey I need an hour to just do me stuff' and it helps me take care of myself so I can help take care of others. Wishing you luck!
@Stephaniej12112 I like really needed to hear that. Thank you. It’s so hard to feel like it’s temporary that I need a lot right now, but I know it is, and this helped to remind me that. My girlfriend is also a little emotionally immature in the way that she couldn’t explain that to me as clearly as you did because she’s just not there with her emotions yet but I do understand what she’s trying to say it just hits different when it’s as clear as you just said it
☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision
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