Feeling Like a Nuisance After Moving Out

They were blaming their problems on you. My parents did the same thing then after a while they realized those problems were still around when I wasn’t and they finally started to look internally. My dad didn’t like how much my mom bossed him around but wouldn’t ever tell her so if I ever asked a favor I was a leech. My mom needed constant validation which my dad doesn’t give so when I didn’t give it to her everytime she asked I was ungrateful. I’m almost certain it really has nothing to do with you and is them looking for a scapegoat. I don’t think a lot of parents realize they can only have a super beautiful loving two-way relationship with their adult children AFTER they have a selfish one-way relationship with their child. I didn’t understand it until I had kids but the way parents blame a 6 year old for asking too many questions on purpose or a 2 year old for spilling something when those are developmentally appropriate behaviors for that age really makes it obvious that no one has a handbook for this crap and those willing to improve do and those who don’t won’t.