Struggling with Family Dynamics and Boundaries

(part 2/2)well I'm sick of it and not just this I am also sick of my bf how he acts sometimes because we found this one house and we were set on moving to it and they were ok with dogs and so we were gonna move in but then the listing for it was taken down because we didn't rent it in time and so we talked about moving and taking our dogs and then he told me I may have to get rid of my service animal and I said no and then he told me he'd have no other choice than to move without me so him and his kids could be living in a home together and I told him that if I'm not moving somewhere that they will allow dogs and that renders me homeless, I will withdraw the money from my account that I had put up for us all to move and then he told me I was selfish and blah blah blah so I told him if I have to get rid of my service animal I will be very picky with who he is rehomed with and I will still be paying for his medical bills and things like that and he told me I was being irrational because since the dog wouldn't live with me in that situation I wouldn't be obligated to pay the vet bills and I would be giving my money to things in the house assuming the kids and I lost it and snapped and told him that I'd take the money because we do have a joint account but it's also based on the individual deposits and things like that but I went to bed that night sobbing and unable to breathe which sent me into a panic attack so I had to take my medication for anxiety to go even go to sleep and the next morning he woke me up and he was being super apologetic about our discussion from the night before, but back to my adjustment, I really don't like how they think they are allowed to walk all over me like I'm a doormat or something because you can't get them to listen to me at all and no I don't ever yell at them it's always an indoor voice tone with them but whatever I'm the bad guy I guess and I got mad because the oldest one always has to push my buttons, the younger of the boys occasionally does it but not at a constant level like his older brother does so last week we went to a festival and they had a park beside the shade awning where me and my boyfriend were staying at because it was 90 something degrees and I get terrible heat sickness and my dog alerted me that I need to sit down so we went and sat under the awning while the boys played on the playground at the park there and it was an alright day nothing bad had happened and my adjustment was thinking that maybe it was gonna be back to normal because they were doing so well behaving that day I couldn't believe it... and then all hell broke loose my bf went to go get them some water bottles because they were playing and running around on this super hot day and he was getting me some because I was white as a ghost from heat sickness and so he motioned for the boys to come sit down to get their drinks and they did and they went back to play and he told the oldest one that he needed to leave his bottle with us, so what does he do? HE CLUBBED MY DOG IN THE FACE WITH IT!! I was furious and I told him he had to sit in time out because his little attitude was not gonna fly with me and he was not going to act that way and he did. he sat there until it was time to go play and they played for a few more minutes and then we left because I was getting worse and more dizzy and I knew we had to go because I'd get too dizzy to walk and that would be hard for us to get back to the car. They wanted to act up on the ride back to their Nanas house and my mind was just trying to figure out why him and his brother were so good on the way to the festival but wanted to act out and show his ass when we got there. I had assumed it was because we weren't going to get them any ice cream because it would have made a mess and they had just ate their hamburgers and the oldest can't have dairy or sugar anyway so that may have been why he was acting that way... he was pretty ok when he got down here like if we told him no he was Ok with being told no he pouted about it a little bit and that was that, now he pouts about it and then gets an attitude out of nowhere with everything after that because we didn't give him what he wanted. I just don't understand the sudden change with him and sometimes his brother because believe it or not when they got here his younger brother was the trouble maker and he had a bigger attitude problem than his brother and now it's the opposite... idk what to do about it....my bf and I had a discussion about how much I baby my dog and hardly show anything towards the boys but honestly I don't know I don't have any sort of connection with them and I know that sounds like sh*t to say but that's honestly how it is... my service dog gives very minimal issues and provides my security and my safe space and then the boys act like they are entitled to everything on the planet that they want all of a sudden because they both tell me I'm gonna do this or I'm gonna do that and they never ask so when I tell them no they get so unruly about it that I feel like telling my bf that we need to go to family counseling for it but he said no because everything was fine and I blew up and said no it wasn't ok because I won't tolerate their behavior and that's when the bombardment of comments saying I act more like a baby than they do came in the picture and this comment and that comment was thrown in there so as a last resort I tried to talk to my mom about the situation and she normally tries to understand both sides of any situation yet again my adjustment issues were so thrown off when she took their side by saying oh well they are boys and they are going through a loss and they don't know how to deal with things.......need I say this; I had also gone through the almost same issue when my dad got arrested I cried myself to sleep so much after he left I moved back in with my mom and I hardly spoke for so long until I had my seizures and then I was more open to talk about how I felt. my dad remarried before he went to jail and my step mom was a bitch and I sometimes feel like I am acting like her and yeah a part of me feels bad because I look like the bad guy but at the same time I don't because I know that I'm allowed to have boundaries and rules as much as their dad does and I don't think it's wrong 🤷‍♀️