Dealing with a Painful Breakup: Need Advice

Going through a bad breakup. I even talked to them and asked if they really never wanted to talk to me again forever. And they said “probably”. But it’s just really hurting a lot and I just feel like I have more to say but I don’t , I talked to them about a ton of our issues and asked if they’d want to try dating again in the future due to our separate mental illnesses, but she said no . I thought I would be fine with it before , but once they said they wanted to cut off communication forever, it just hit me different. Idk if this is bpd, adhd, or just a regular breakup but I just felt like I really went crazy the first couple days getting told that. I’m still hurting and not completely accepting it, but I’m doing better than before where I was just impulsively texting. I know the decision to talk has to be up to them now. And me I guess if I’d let them in