Dealing with Grief: Visiting My Son's Grave on Great Grandma's Birthday

@Soskae It certainly is hard. There i times i fall to the floor crumbling into a ball crying til my nose bleeding and ill just keep going, sometimes ill scream til I'm so dizzy im scared I'm going to pass out or until its not audible anymore. I was severely suicidal for about 8 months until I put myself in the hospital for a week. Even then I'd find ways to self harm in the hospital. Hospitals trigger my ptsd because of 8 months of living in one for my sons treatments. Some days I don't feel strong at all. But I know exactly what he would do when he say me. He'd scream mommy and run to me excited to give me a hug. I like to think in heaven he does that every morning when he sees me wake up each day.