Dealing with Borderline Rage Episodes: Need Help ASAP

As someone with BPD, I assume this comes from a place of jealousy and insecurity, fearing you are going to be abandoned. When you notice you're splitting or about to go off, I would remove yourself ASAP. Find a place to sit down and let all the emotions out. Maybe try screaming into a pillow. When you're able to, then try meditating and evaluating the facts. CBT techniques will really help here. Try focusing on your thoughts and evaluate them, try and notice any cognitive distortions. Do something that makes you happy. Then, when you're calmer, be open about how you feel in a calm way with your fiance. Tell him you need reassurance and whatever else you may need. I understand that when we rage, we do it to make ourselves bigger and feel heard because we're scared. Unfortunately, the wounded child in us fails to realize that this actually draws people away rather than closer. That's a very important part to remember. That's not me trying to say your feelings aren't valid by any means, but our abusive tendencies are not okay.